The Prince of Cockroaches
by chocolatekuni
Summary: Find out what happens when cockroaches invade Tokyo. Several of these pests find their way to Seigaku. How will the Seigaku regulars deal with these nuisances? Warning: Bad humor and a sadistic Fuji ahead. Not for the light of heart.


**A/N: This is my first fanfic so I really would appreciate a review or two ****:)**** I'm fine with constructive criticism and flames. And I love suggestions. Please read and review *bows down*  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis. If I did, Tezuka, not Ryoma (sorry to all the Ryoma fans out there) would be the Prince of Tennis.**

**Anyways, Enjoy!**

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"_There have been many sightings of cockroaches near the Tokyo area. We have reason to believe that there has been an invasion of them. If you discover any lurking at your home, please call 1-800-4789…"_

Nanako turned off the radio and sighed. Ryoma-kun should be up by now. She headed up the stairs to wake him, carefully walking around Nanjirou who was sleeping (and snoring!).

"Ryoma-kun, wake up! You're going to be late for morning practice!" She got a grunt of acknowledgement as the youngest Seigaku regular hoisted himself off his bed.

Ryoma quickly dressed and ran out the door, skipping breakfast (which was American food again). He dashed off to school, hoping to make it to tennis practice on time. He really wasn't in the mood to run laps today…

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Panting, Ryoma stood in front of the locker room. He had made it in time. In fact, he even had a few minutes to catch his breath before going into the changing room. After all, none of the regulars needed to know that he woke up late and ran all the way to school because he was scared of running a couple of laps.

Ah. His breathing was going back to normal. His hand was on the doorknob when he spotted something crawling. It was a cockroach. Ryoma contemplated going to the vending machine, getting some Ponta, and pouring it on the pest. After all, he never really liked cockroaches anyway. But he quickly dismissed the idea once he realized that he would be wasting precious Ponta on a bug. Ponta that would be much better spent going down his throat.

So Ryoma, being Ryoma, did the sensible thing, and completely ignored the cockroach and proceeded with opening the locker room door.

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"Alright Oishi, let's do our best ~nya!" Oishi nodded his head in agreement and swerved the ball. It was hit back by Momo, only to be volleyed back by Eiji, winning the point for the Golden Pair.

"~Nya… Momo-chan and Kaido are years too early to beat our teamwork, ne Ois-AHHHHH!" Eiji screamed and hid behind his doubles partner's back, pointing to where he used to be standing.

Oishi looked to what Eiji was pointing at. "What's wrong Eiji?"

"It's a c-cockroach." Eiji sniffled a little.

Eiji's scream had disturbed the match between Inui and Ryoma. They looked over to find Oishi trying (and failing) to comfort Eiji. Momo and Kaido were chasing around a cockroach, trying to kill it.

"There is a 78% chance that Eiji screamed over something trivial." Inui commented. "Also, there is a 99.99% chance that if Tezuka were here, everyone would be getting laps."

Ryoma nodded. "Isn't buchou talking with Coach Ryuzaki in her office?"

"That's correct. They are discussing the line-ups for our next match. But there is a 89% chance that Tezuka will be arriving in the next 5 minutes." Inui's glasses glinted as he pushed them up. "What should we do? If Tezuka comes and finds practice like this, everybody will be getting laps, including us, even if we're not involved."

"Let's continue the match. We can't do anything." Came the Ryoma-like response.

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"Get out of my way!"

"Why don't you, mamushi? I saw the cockroach first, so I should kill it!"

"What kind of faulty logic is that? Besides, Kikumaru-senpai saw it first. Baka."

"Shut up!" Momo yelled.

A minute or two later...

"Ha! I've almost got it…" Momo had indeed, almost got it. But what he failed to realize was that he was on the court where Kawamura and an angry Fuji were playing on.

Squish. Everyone looked to the direction of the noise.

"Opps. I didn't see it. Sorry." Taka said, rubbing his head in embarrassment.

"You don't need to apologize, Taka-san. After all, we were playing a match when some people ran onto our court and interrupted." Fuji said sweetly, giving Momo and Kaido his get-lost-or-you'll-be-sorry smile. They slowly backed away from the sadistic genius.

"What is going on here?"

Tezuka had came back. Everyone looked mortified (except Fuji who never looks mortified, Ryoma who already knew that buchou was coming back, and Inui who looked slightly smug that his prediction had come true).

"EVERYONE 50 LAPS! NOW!" Tezuka was not a happy camper. Then again, Tezuka was never a happy camper.

A chorus of groans erupted as everyone took off running.

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Practice had been tolerable after that, Fuji recalled in the locker room as he put his socks on. After the laps (the people who couldn't finish them were rewarded with a glass of Inui's wonderful juice), Tezuka had to leave to do something and told everyone to continue their matches. Come to think of it, Tezuka still isn't back, Fuji mused.

Fuji was about to put on his shoes when he saw some movement in it. The tensai flipped his shoe over and shook lightly.

A cockroach fell out. It wiggled slightly and started crawling. That gave Fuji an idea. A very evil and potentially amusing idea. He wasn't called a tensai for nothing.

He quickly grabbed the cockroach (trying to touch it as little as possible) and headed over to Tezuka's locker. Opening it, he pulled out Tezuka's school uniform.

And put the cockroach in Tezuka's pants.

After making sure that the cockroach wasn't going to fall out when Tezuka put his pants on, Fuji went to wash his hands. Fuji's smile widened. He would have to get his camera. This could be potential blackmail material.

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**OMAKE**

"Dark brown, 4.145 centimeters long, 1.564 centimeters wide…" Inui muttered to himself while jotting down some notes on the dead cockroach lying on his "operating table". Putting on some gloves and closing the notebook, he grabbed a small knife.

He proceeded to cut the cockroach into tiny pieces. He then added the crushed cockroach to a pitcher of uniquely-colored liquid burbling unpleasantly. It changed color to a murky brown. His latest Inui juice, Version 10.49, was now completed with a dash of cockroach. He would have to bring it to tennis practice tomorrow.

Inui's glasses glinted as he cackled manically.

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**A/N: Um... so yeah. I left the ending to your imaginations. If you liked (or disliked) this story, press the button below this that says 'Review this Story'. If you do, Tezuka might, just might, do the chicken dance for you. I'll have to talk to him about it.**


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